MOST IMPORTANT CORRECTION

I have been informed by Greenberg that the two people to the left and right of me are not "ladies".

First of all, thanks a lot, smarty pants.

Second of all, an explanation for non-performers: the hour or two after a show is sort of like the hour or two after eating four boxes of Frosted Flakes. You're still a little messed in the head. You make questionable decisions. Sort of like you're temporarily Plaxico Burress.