Basically "I Have a Dream" but in a post

So the auto industry is going down the tubes a little.

Let me take this time to re-predict that by 2010 every US citizen will have an electric scooter and a bus pass.

Those of use who have had our licenses revoked for attempted vehicular manslaughter know that cars are amazing, convenient and excellent places to live temporarily, but we can live without them.
And learn some important things along the way.

Like say one day it's 78 and sunny and you're on the West Side Highway on your electric scooter heading at 20 mph to meet Ted Greenberg. And you're feeling very happy, as though life might actually be pretty good.

And just then, at a red light, a hot 23 year old girl in a Jetta looks at you, makes what you interpret to be a dismissive gross face. Which is why you jump off your electric scooter and knock on her window and ask her why she is judging you she screams and drives away. And then you get hit by a cab.

You are very upset for 3 years but then eventually you get a sense that soon you will meet someone who isn't a superficial bitch. That's what I mean about hope.

The End.

Oh wait. I think there's more. But what I'm saying is, no need to worry about how we all have no money and are going to have to sell our bodies for scrambled eggs.

Nice try though

Seems like I'm not the only one closing my hedge fund.

And no, I won't be a "mascot for the declining economy" as some assholes have suggested.

and this week's only contestant for Most Adorable Sentient Being in a Ted Greenberg Dickie goes to...

Behind the Plumber

Joe the Plumber isn't a licensed plumber. And he hasn't paid all his taxes.

This guy sounds like he's ready for mascot school!

Not for nothing, but lots of people who claim to be one thing and "aren't quite" excel at my chosen profession. Or at governing Alaska. Anyone have his e-mail address?

Evidence!

Ted Greenberg is getting fingerprinted right now at the NYC Taxi and Limousine Commission. I tried to stop him. My parents let the police fingerprint me when I was a kid. "For fun." Cut to 15 years later, the police knocking at my door because I was in the database.

Thanks mom & dad.

Kill me

Sarah Palin is George W Bush with boobs.

Maybe W Can be her mascot.

Top Secret

Greenberg asked me not to tell too many people that he successfully completed a 7 day course at the Master Cabbie Taxi Academy.
So try not to tell too many people.

By the way, CORRECTION: those mascots on the post below are British, not gay.