Answers to Your Questions

First of all, yes, I have been "in a cave" the past 2 weeks. If by "in a cave" you mean emotionally recuperating from getting laid off at my part time gig as the Salvation Army mascot. All the better: more time to devote to BTM!

Second of all: No. I'm not "developmentally delayed", I just can't talk during my performance in THE COMPLETE PERFORMER. Even the pelvic thrusts are carefully thought out.

THIRD OF ALL, all you MR STRUNKS out there: YES, SOMETIMES I FORGET TO TAKE OFF CAPSLOCK. so what.

Bill Bradley and his mistress

Me, another hot chick, and the cockblock of the evening

See the way she's looking at me? You would think this would have ended at my apartment with her in my arms. Yes. Well 2 seconds after this was taken, Playboy Greenberg grabbed her ass and she fled.

Me and a hot chick, otra vez

And yes, I like them both equally.

MOST IMPORTANT CORRECTION

I have been informed by Greenberg that the two people to the left and right of me are not "ladies".

First of all, thanks a lot, smarty pants.

Second of all, an explanation for non-performers: the hour or two after a show is sort of like the hour or two after eating four boxes of Frosted Flakes. You're still a little messed in the head. You make questionable decisions. Sort of like you're temporarily Plaxico Burress.

Same equation, same result

Me plus the sexy ladies equals baby time.

Thanksgiving Full of Hell

Spend time with your family this blessed holiday? Me too. Blessed, blessed day.

Nothing more wonderful than eating and spending countless hours with Ted Greenberg, a bunch of nincompoop 5 year olds, and his bald Pinocchio.

Greenberg did not appreciate my putting Pinocchio in the oven like the Pilgrims intended. The children however, loved it.